Daycare Sucks

To suck or not to suck... That is the question... Thumbs, that is... baby's thumbs. Kayla is a thumb sucker. She also has a blankie. Considering all she has been through in her short, little life, it's a miracle that she doesn't have more habits like these. But the way I see it, she is coping. She is soothing herself. She is doing what makes her feel secure.

Well, we had an incident at daycare this morning... Hence I wrote the following letter:

(Please note: Names have been changed to protect the guilty and keep me from being sued!)

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August 23, 2005

Daycare Lady
Generic Wonderful Daycare
123 Happy Road
Ourtown, IN 44444

Dear Daycare Lady,

Hello. My name is Jennifer. My daughter Kayla is in your toddler room. I am concerned about something that happened this morning and I wanted to make you aware of it. I feel it is of the utmost importance that we have open lines of communication.

Kayla was very happy, as she always is, when we came in this morning. That is one of the best things about your center. Kayla LOVES coming. She is so happy there. It gives me such peace of mind to know that I am leaving her at a place that makes her so happy. I hate leaving her but I can leave and feel okay about it because she loves being at Generic Wonderful Daycare.

This morning started like any other. When we got to her room, I opened the half-door and she walked in. As soon as she saw the teacher, she became very upset. She started to cry and she walked back to me and clutched my leg. The teacher was an older lady with dark hair. The teacher said, “She doesn’t like me because I don’t let her suck her thumb.” I was kind of dumbfounded, first by Kayla’s reaction, but also by what the teacher said to me. I said, “I don’t have a problem with her sucking her thumb.” I tried to encourage Kayla, telling her it was okay, and telling her to go in and play with her friends. One of the other children walked up to Kayla, holding a toy, but Kayla ignored her. She continued crying. The teacher picked her up, pulled her in close, and started patting her, telling her it was okay. I just stood there for a second, then turned and walked away, at a complete loss for words. I could hear Kayla crying loudly as I walked away.

If I had it to do over again, I would have taken Kayla from her and left with her. I know this probably seems very trivial to you. I apologize if it seems I am making a “mountain out of a mole hill”. There are a lot of things I could say. I could debate thumb sucking with you and your staff. I could tell you about my divorce and how hard it’s been for my daughter and me. But I don’t think it is appropriate to bring any of that into it.

I want you and all of your staff to know that I want my daughter to have the freedom to soothe herself with her thumb whenever she feels the need. She carries a blankie at home and when she started coming there, she gave up having it with her all the time. She only has it during her nap time. She is already giving something up to get along and follow the rules there. I do not want her thumb taken away from her as well.

I am sure the teacher has good intentions but in this instance I feel she is overstepping her bounds with my daughter. If the center makes a rule across the board for hygiene reasons or whatever that thumb-sucking is not allowed, please let me know and I will make a decision about what is in Kayla’s best interest.

If you want to speak with me, you can reach me at xxx-xxxx (cell) or at xxx-xxxx (work). If you would prefer a face-to-face meeting, we can schedule one. Otherwise, please communicate my wishes to your staff regarding this issue. I think your center is wonderful and I feel blessed that Kayla can spend her time at such a wonderful place. I trust we can work this out so things can get back to normal.

Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,


Kayla's Mom

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I called and checked on Kayla a couple of times today and I was told that she is fine. I am going to give the Daycare Lady this letter this afternoon. I will let you know what happens...