And the Battle Wages On...

Kayla is still fighting this nasty virus. Not to get too graphic, but now she has blisters and sores all around and inside her mouth. She has been with my parents since last week. I hate being away from her but there is no way I can miss a bunch of work right now. If I did, it could be the end of them hiring me permanently. So... I am sad and missing her and she is upset with me for leaving her. She was so unhappy with me over the weekend. I went down and stayed with her and she did not want to have anything to do with me. She let her feelings be known. Poor little girl... She was feeling so sick and she was so upset with me. It was very hard for me, seeing her so miserable.

According to the pediatrician, she should be well by the end of the week. I really hope she's better.

How does that go again?
"And this too shall pass..."

Yay for Mommy! Break Out the Easy Mac!

I am so happy to report that I was officially hired today by the non-profit agency I have been working for since April (5 months!). I came in through an office temp. agency on a temp.-to-hire basis. Time dragged on and on and I was starting to think I would never be hired. Finally today I was called on the carpet and it so totally felt like I was in the principal's office. I was sitting there, sweating it, scanning my mind for what I could have possibly done to get summoned to the big cheese's office. I have been trying to tow the line because I needed to get hired so badly. I could not imagine what I had done to warrant all the pomp and circumstance. Finally the big-guy and the assistant big-guy, who happens to be a woman, sat down with me, huge smiles on their faces, and informed me that they were buying out my contract with the temp. agency and that I was now a full-time, permanent employee.

(Cue fireworks, marching band, 21 gun salute, confetti, ticker tape parade, dancing girls...)

You get the picture. I was thrilled. I'm not sure which was better, the fact that I was not in any trouble (LOL) or the raise and benefits. Okay, so I am exaggerating. I was ecstatic about making more $, having health insurance, and of course - job security!

I am going to pick up Kaylafrom day care and we are going to go home and celebrate with some Easy Mac for dinner. :) Life is good!!!

A Sympathetic Ear

I have to admit I was nervous when Kayla and I approached her day care this morning. I had been running a million different scenarios through my head... If the "mean teacher" is there, I will do this and if they argue with me, I will do that. I had turned it over and over in my mind and about 98% of the outcomes involved me expressing my feelings very passionately, taking my daughter, and leaving in a huff. Luckily for me, a political monologue on the value of thumb-sucking, a dramatic exodus, and a huff were not necessary.

We were met at the front door by the Head Day care Lady. The look on her face was all I needed to see to know that she was on my side and all would be okay. She had an expression somewhere between compassion, empathy, and pity... with a sprinkling of Grandmotherly caring and kindness mixed in for good measure. She proceeded to apologize for several minutes and she assured me that the offending teacher was talked to and that Kayla would be allowed to suck her thumb anywhere and anytime she so desired. She could suck to her hearts content and I was promised that an ill word would not be spoken. Naturally, I did what any 30-something, together, totally in-the-right, level-headed, professional Mother would do. I blubbered like a baby at this woman's desk.

At the conclusion of our meeting, Kayla went to her classroom happy, the "mean teacher" was re-assigned to another classroom, the Head Day care Lady was happy she would continue to receive my $135 / week checks, and I went off to work with a sense of satisfaction with my accomplishment of fighting for my daughter's rights and winning, and also a peaceful, easy feeling that Kayla can suck her thumb whenever she feels like it and the "Thumb Police" won't be there to rip her thumb out of her mouth, brow beat her, and permanently scar her fragile little psyche.

See? There is still justice in the world, the "little guy" can come out on top, and mean people do get what they deserve!

Daycare Sucks

To suck or not to suck... That is the question... Thumbs, that is... baby's thumbs. Kayla is a thumb sucker. She also has a blankie. Considering all she has been through in her short, little life, it's a miracle that she doesn't have more habits like these. But the way I see it, she is coping. She is soothing herself. She is doing what makes her feel secure.

Well, we had an incident at daycare this morning... Hence I wrote the following letter:

(Please note: Names have been changed to protect the guilty and keep me from being sued!)

_____________________________________________________________________________________

August 23, 2005

Daycare Lady
Generic Wonderful Daycare
123 Happy Road
Ourtown, IN 44444

Dear Daycare Lady,

Hello. My name is Jennifer. My daughter Kayla is in your toddler room. I am concerned about something that happened this morning and I wanted to make you aware of it. I feel it is of the utmost importance that we have open lines of communication.

Kayla was very happy, as she always is, when we came in this morning. That is one of the best things about your center. Kayla LOVES coming. She is so happy there. It gives me such peace of mind to know that I am leaving her at a place that makes her so happy. I hate leaving her but I can leave and feel okay about it because she loves being at Generic Wonderful Daycare.

This morning started like any other. When we got to her room, I opened the half-door and she walked in. As soon as she saw the teacher, she became very upset. She started to cry and she walked back to me and clutched my leg. The teacher was an older lady with dark hair. The teacher said, “She doesn’t like me because I don’t let her suck her thumb.” I was kind of dumbfounded, first by Kayla’s reaction, but also by what the teacher said to me. I said, “I don’t have a problem with her sucking her thumb.” I tried to encourage Kayla, telling her it was okay, and telling her to go in and play with her friends. One of the other children walked up to Kayla, holding a toy, but Kayla ignored her. She continued crying. The teacher picked her up, pulled her in close, and started patting her, telling her it was okay. I just stood there for a second, then turned and walked away, at a complete loss for words. I could hear Kayla crying loudly as I walked away.

If I had it to do over again, I would have taken Kayla from her and left with her. I know this probably seems very trivial to you. I apologize if it seems I am making a “mountain out of a mole hill”. There are a lot of things I could say. I could debate thumb sucking with you and your staff. I could tell you about my divorce and how hard it’s been for my daughter and me. But I don’t think it is appropriate to bring any of that into it.

I want you and all of your staff to know that I want my daughter to have the freedom to soothe herself with her thumb whenever she feels the need. She carries a blankie at home and when she started coming there, she gave up having it with her all the time. She only has it during her nap time. She is already giving something up to get along and follow the rules there. I do not want her thumb taken away from her as well.

I am sure the teacher has good intentions but in this instance I feel she is overstepping her bounds with my daughter. If the center makes a rule across the board for hygiene reasons or whatever that thumb-sucking is not allowed, please let me know and I will make a decision about what is in Kayla’s best interest.

If you want to speak with me, you can reach me at xxx-xxxx (cell) or at xxx-xxxx (work). If you would prefer a face-to-face meeting, we can schedule one. Otherwise, please communicate my wishes to your staff regarding this issue. I think your center is wonderful and I feel blessed that Kayla can spend her time at such a wonderful place. I trust we can work this out so things can get back to normal.

Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,


Kayla's Mom

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I called and checked on Kayla a couple of times today and I was told that she is fine. I am going to give the Daycare Lady this letter this afternoon. I will let you know what happens...

Rashes, Rosiola, and Rosacia, Oh My!

Kayla got sick last weekend and ended up spending all week with my mom and dad. I missed her so much and it was so hard to be away from her, knowing she was sick... But I HAVE to work and I KNOW she is fine when she is with Mom and Dad.

Kayla had a rash all over so Mom took her to the doctor and they said she had Rosiola. In addition, they said those adorable rosey cheeks of hers are probably caused by Rosacia. She has to see a Pediatric Dermatologist.

She also fell and busted her lip on the porch while she was there... Every day it seems like something new is happening to her. It is scary and frustrating and hard... I feel like we just get over one thing and something else crops up. I guess that is normal with kids though... I hate it when she is sick and there is nothing I can do to make her better.

She is fine now. She is so feisty and so funny. I hope and pray she continues to be well, healthy, and active. :)

Super Baby

Faster than a speeding tricycle. Able to leap tall sand castles in a single bound. It's a bird. It's a plane. It's Super Baby!

A new little girl started day care with Kayla yesterday. Her name is Leah. When I went to pick Kayla up last night, her teacher told me that Kayla made Leah laugh all day long.

When I dropped Kayla off this morning, 2 other teachers stopped me and told me that Kayla was Leah's "Protector" all day yesterday. They said that Kayla stayed right with Leah and would not let anyone hurt her or bother her. They said that Kayla watched out for Leah and took care of her all day.

That's my girl- protecting scared, helpless babies everywhere! Super Baby to the rescue!!!

Through the Eyes of a Child...

I was walking to another building on our campus here at work this morning. I had to deliver something. It was so nice to go outside and have a change of scenery. On the sidewalk in front of me I noticed 2 extra large bugs, clinging to eachother. They were obviously mating but that is not the interesting thing about it. I stopped and stared at them. They looked like they were straight out of a rainforest, or perhaps the jungle. They were monster bugs and they were fascinating. Each of them was about 2 inches long, with large bulging eyes, and iredescent green / purple wings. They kind of looked like a mutant cross between a grasshopper and a cicada.

I probably stood there for 2 minutes looking at them. More than looking, I was studying them... I so wished Kayla was with me so we could talk about these bugs. I so wished I could show them to her.

I thought about my actions and laughed to myself. Everything in the world seems so new and so interesting to me these days. I find myself noticing things and analyzing things that I never would have even payed attention to before Kayla came into my life. I strive to teach her about the world. I try to take time to stop and show her things and I try to explain things to her in ways that she will understand.

I am blessed to have been given this new world view. Now I am seeing the world through the eyes of a child. I have regained the inquisitive, excited nature of a child thanks to Kayla. What an amazing gift I have been given. I am so thankful for her in so many ways and all the ways she has changed my life. Not only do I take time to stop and smell the roses but also take time to stop and study the bugs.

My Little Babushka

My mom made Kayla a blankie. It is purple satin and Kayla loves it. Actually, Mom made more than 1. We have a couple of spares, just in case.

The other day, Kayla was at mom's and mom tied the blankie on Kayla's head and also around her shoulders. She asked Kayla to pose and smile and she took pics. Mom says Kayla looks like a little Russin peasant, hence I deem her "My Little Babushka".

Teething and a Very Grouchy Girl

The past few days have been challenging for me as a mom. Kayla has been very grouchy, especially in the evenings. A friend told me that it is just the "terrible two's". That seemed possible. Kayla is only 16 months old but she is so far ahead on so many other things that it seemed very possible that she may already be in that stage.

Last night was especially hard. She was whinny and no matter what anyone said or did to her or for her, she was unhappy. That may seem like a typical toddler to you but I assure you, it is not typical for Kayla. She is a very happy child almost all the time. She is very smart and receptive to instruction, correction, and change. Well, it just got worse and worse and I was flustered. I did not know what I could or should do for her. She did not want to eat or drink. She would whine to be held but then wiggle away aggressively almost as soon as her butt hit my leg. My mom was there visiting us, thank goodness. She picked Kayla up and asked Kayla to let her check something. Mom ran her finger into Kayla's mouth and gasped out loud. She said, "Oh my gosh! She is teething! Her little gums must hurt so much! They are raised up all over!"

I immediately went and got her some tylenol. Within 30-45 minutes of taking the medicine, my sweet little girl was back with us. She ate her dinner, drank her milk, and laughed and played. The rest of the night was great.

I guess I am like a million other first time mommy's... I was clueless. Oh, well... Live and learn. I kick myself for not knowing SOMETHING was wrong!!! DUH!

School, school, school!

We call Kayla's daycare "school" because it is very structured. The daycare she used to go to was just awful. It was a nightmare. The kids just milled around all day. Her new daycare is just awesome. They do all kinds of different activities... Reading, counting, art, music, dance... It is great and Kayla loves it. Almost every morning when we pull into their parking lot, she starts bouncing up and down in her car seat shouting, "School, school, school!". She just loves it and it makes me so happy to know that she is happy.

I feel so guilty for leaving her. I get to spend about 3 hours a day of quality time with her each day from monday through friday. I hate the fact that strangers are shaping and molding my child. I hate that I can't be with her during this formative time.

Still, my boyfriend, Bruce, reminds me often that when I leave her and go to work, I am doing it for her. It is hard to remember that fact. The only thing that makes it tolerable is her attitude towards her "school". I thank God we found her such a great place to be all day.