Surviving Christmas & Looking Forward to a New Year

We had a wonderful Christmas. There were a few bumps in the road but overall I have so much to be thankful for... Kayla was so happy. She received an obscene amount of gifts but I figure if that is all I have to complain about then we are doing great. I feel like she and I have been growing closer lately. We are connecting more. Discipline is going better as well. I must say I am much happier these days than I have been in the past so having a happy Mommy probably makes a huge difference in her quality of life.

She has been staying at my parent's house through the week since last month so I could catch up financially. Daycare, as I have griped about and vented about a million times before, is CRAZY EXPENSIVE!!! Still, even though we are doing fine money-wise thanks to the daycare relief, I am missing her so much that it hurts. I talked to her on the phone yesterday afternoon and she cried and cried for me. It ripped my heart out. I am trying to get her into the daycare at my work. I hope it works out soon because I hate being away from her.

She is spending some time with her father this weekend. He is picking her up on Saturday morning and bringing her back Sunday evening. So... I will see her even less this week than usual... Plus, I am worried about how things will go for her while she is with him. It scares me but I know she needs to know her father- no matter how much I can't stand him. All I can say is that he better take good care of her or he is going to have to deal with me. It may sound like a threat. Actually, it is a promise. If he ever hurts her, I will make him sorry he is alive. A mother grizzly has nothing on me!!!!! There is nothing I would not do to protect her.

So, God... Hear my prayer. Watch over her this weekend. Protect her. Also, help him be a loving father. And if he can't be that, help me see it and help me get her away from him for good.

Amen.